{"id":32978,"date":"2021-10-16T20:24:13","date_gmt":"2021-10-16T20:24:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mathewingram.blog\/?p=32978"},"modified":"2021-10-16T20:24:13","modified_gmt":"2021-10-16T20:24:13","slug":"its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/2021\/10\/16\/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers\/","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s decorative gourd season, motherfuckers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One great thing about fall is it&#8217;s a chance to post this timeless classic from McSweeney&#8217;s Internet Tendency &#8212; &#8220;It&#8217;s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;I don\u2019t know about you, but I can\u2019t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I\u2019m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it\u2019s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is \u2014 fucking fall. There\u2019s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-content\/uploads\/e85c2141-3e71-4fd8-8417-6464de901743.jpeg?w=525&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-256459\" \/><\/figure>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One great thing about fall is it&#8217;s a chance to post this timeless classic from McSweeney&#8217;s Internet Tendency &#8212; &#8220;It&#8217;s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers&#8221; &#8220;I don\u2019t know about you, but I can\u2019t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/2021\/10\/16\/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;It&#8217;s decorative gourd season, motherfuckers&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crsspst_to_mathewingramblogwordpresscom":false,"mf2_syndication":[],"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32978","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32978"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32978\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}