{"id":255244,"date":"2023-05-01T10:46:54","date_gmt":"2023-05-01T14:46:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/?p=255244"},"modified":"2023-05-01T10:46:54","modified_gmt":"2023-05-01T14:46:54","slug":"i-miss-a-different-version-of-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/2023\/05\/01\/i-miss-a-different-version-of-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"I miss a different version of myself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From a recent edition of the <a href=\"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/s9\">always excellent Griefbacon newsletter<\/a>, written by Helena Fitzgerald, which you should all subscribe to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;The first time I thought in posts\u2014the first time I imagined my fears and desires, my crushes and my worries, playing out in the immediate future specifically on social media\u2014was during a winter break when I was twenty or so, on vacation with my family. Obsessing over someone who\u2019d broken up with me, I filtered every experience I had and every beautiful thing I saw through how I would post about it, and the reaction I hoped those posts might compel.<em>\u00a0<\/em>That was the first time I can remember living in the way I\u2019ve lived since then. Online had seeped into my real-time emotional life; it was like realizing you\u2019re fluent in a language when you wake up from a dream in which you were speaking it.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" height=\"373\" width=\"525\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-content\/uploads\/image-285.png?resize=525%2C373&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-255246\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;I say all the time that I miss the internet, but I use the internet to say it. All I really mean is that I miss a different version of myself. I miss when I knew less; I miss when there was more time. Despite being engaged in the act of shedding at every moment from birth, we don\u2019t notice what we\u2019ve shed until no part of it clings to us any longer. This is merely forward motion\u2014 not a tragedy, not a triumph, not a hardship, and not a miracle. We live in planned obsolescence, learning the new technology just in time for the newer technology to outpace it and render those skills useless. Whatever I thought the internet was is already long over, something the newest generation of novelty seekers has never seen, and would likely not even recognize.&#8221;<\/p>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From a recent edition of the always excellent Griefbacon newsletter, written by Helena Fitzgerald, which you should all subscribe to: &#8220;The first time I thought in posts\u2014the first time I imagined my fears and desires, my crushes and my worries, playing out in the immediate future specifically on social media\u2014was during a winter break when &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/2023\/05\/01\/i-miss-a-different-version-of-myself\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;I miss a different version of myself&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crsspst_to_mathewingramblogwordpresscom":true,"mf2_syndication":[],"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-255244","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255244","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=255244"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/255244\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=255244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=255244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=255244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}