{"id":253406,"date":"2023-01-06T16:23:56","date_gmt":"2023-01-06T16:23:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/?p=253406"},"modified":"2023-01-06T16:23:56","modified_gmt":"2023-01-06T16:23:56","slug":"an-incomplete-list-of-things-twitter-was","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/2023\/01\/06\/an-incomplete-list-of-things-twitter-was\/","title":{"rendered":"An incomplete list of things Twitter was"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" height=\"351\" width=\"525\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-content\/uploads\/image-84.png?resize=525%2C351&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-253407\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From writer Helena Fitzgerald&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/griefbacon.substack.com\/p\/an-incomplete-list-of-things-that\">great newsletter Griefbacon<\/a> (which is the literal translation of a German term meaning &#8220;the weight you gain after overeating for emotional reasons&#8221;). I&#8217;ve only extracted the list here, but you should click through and read all the descriptions as well:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;I hated Twitter because of course I hated Twitter; if you didn\u2019t hate Twitter, you weren\u2019t there. Hating it was the only way to live in it; that was word for love in its language. I hated Twitter, and I still hate Twitter, and an alarming percentage of everything I love or am proud of derives from the time I wasted on that stupid website, complaining about how the website is garbage. Here are some final ways I would describe Twitter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>A group of drunk girls in the bathroom<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Times Square<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What people who didn\u2019t have friends in middle school think having friends in middle school was like.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A Denny\u2019s at 2am in a town with a vibrant (derogatory) local theater scene.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The Titanic but everybody wants to talk about Joan Didion.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The Titanic but everybody wants to tell you why they don\u2019t count as rich.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The JFK assassination episode of&nbsp;<em>Mad Men<\/em><strong>.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The longest-form Jenny Holzer installation ever.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Listening to two people have an argument on the street directly underneath your window<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Adderall.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Sitting at the kids\u2019 table at Thanksgiving when you are supposed to be sitting at the adults\u2019 table.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Sitting at the adults\u2019 table at Thanksgiving when honestly you should still be sitting at the kids\u2019 table.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Going into the downstairs bathroom at the home of a relative you actually don\u2019t know very well on Thanksgiving and hiding out there while everybody argues<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The fever dream of a high school freshman who has the flu but has come to school anyway and has fallen asleep in the middle of class.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The depiction of Hell in noted prestige television series&nbsp;<em>Adventure Time.<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Trying to leave a party where the vibe has soured<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The mythical city of Babel&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From writer Helena Fitzgerald&#8217;s great newsletter Griefbacon (which is the literal translation of a German term meaning &#8220;the weight you gain after overeating for emotional reasons&#8221;). I&#8217;ve only extracted the list here, but you should click through and read all the descriptions as well: &#8220;I hated Twitter because of course I hated Twitter; if you &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/2023\/01\/06\/an-incomplete-list-of-things-twitter-was\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;An incomplete list of things Twitter was&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crsspst_to_mathewingramblogwordpresscom":false,"mf2_syndication":[],"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-253406","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253406","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=253406"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253406\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=253406"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=253406"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathewingram.com\/work\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=253406"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}